How did it start?
On one of those gloomy days when my brain insists on going philosophical, I had a short talk with myself, concluding that I either need to get better at responding to people...or start a new project.
The thought stuck with me. As we grow older and scatter far away chasing jobs, starting families, or exploring the world, staying connected gets harder. Even birthdays, which should be the easiest time to reach out, can pass by unnoticed. Sure, there are endless apps and social platforms to send a quick "HBD," but many of my loved ones avoid them entirely due to age, fear of addiction, discomfort, or simply a preference for life without constant pings.
So I started wondering: is there a slower, more intentional way to remind people how loved they are? Something that might inspire them to make more time for each other.
After some ideation, the idea evolved into a subscription-based service where families or friend groups fill out birthday surveys. Their answers would be turned into a personal, heartfelt zine/small magazine, part keepsake, part love letter. I decided to test it myself.
My sister's birthday was coming up, making her the perfect first recipient of what I started calling "The B-Day Zine." Creating fun, personal questions was easy. Collecting contact information and designing a layout template? Also smooth. But here's where I tripped: I underestimated respondents' desire to be part of this project. I forgot to set any limits on word count, image size, or the number of graphics people could send. The feedback poured in. Overwhelmingly.
So… I embraced it.
How is it going?
What started as a small, simple zine grew into something closer to a short book. Pages of heartfelt notes, inside jokes, doodles, poems, badly cropped photos. It is chaotically organized but beautiful. I am jotting down every loophole I'd missed, and once I complete this piece, I'll take a short break before trying again.
My plan now is to rewrite the "rules" and keep experimenting with each upcoming birthday, refining the process until it feels both manageable and effective. And since many of my friends' and family's birthdays cluster in winter, that's when the next round will begin.
Who knows? The B-Day Zine may stay a personal tradition, or it may grow into something others can share with their loved ones, too. For now, I'm just happy knowing my sister will soon have a one-of-a-kind book made entirely of affection.
